Limbo…

by Liz

I feel like I’m in limbo.

I have no idea what I am doing next semester. I don’t know if I am going to get accepted into both programs I applied to, one, or neither. I don’t know where I will be in the fall and there’s a possibility that I might not know until September. That is very scary for me. I could either be on my way to being an R.N. or still waiting and wasting time. And I am impatient! Waiting for life to happen… I think it’s worth the wait.

As much as I would go for either program, I would rather get into FLCC because the hours are WAY more flexible. I can work my schedule around when I want to work and decide what days I want to go. The FLSHN program is only nights and weekends, which will suck. The first semester is 17 credit hours alone and on top of that I still have to take my prereqs which will add at least another 4 credit hours to my load. This doesn’t even include time for homework and studying! If I go to FLSHN I have to take my prereqs through Keuka (or FLCC I think) which would mean that I have to go somewhere else for labs if not class too. On the other hand, from what I hear FLSHN is more intensive, challenging and hard which means I will have way more of a challenge there. FLCC is definitely not challenging at all and I feel like their expectations are very low.  I was also told that FLCC is more acredited, or well known. So I’m not sure what that means… I feel like it was implied that if I go to FLSHN my degree will not mean as much.

Either way, I will probably keep going on for my BSN. There is an intensive 14 (I think) month program at Keuka for RN’s to get their BSN and there is also an online program. So I will probably go on to do that while I work.

I’m hoping to get a job straight out of school, and ideally start the travelling nurse thing right away. I have to look into that more because I’m not sure how much experience I need to qualify for that, but either way if I get my BSN in the process of gaining experience I will get paid more to travel and those gigs pay some serious money! I’m hoping in the process of travelling I will find where I want to settle down, or at least get rid of this wanderlust mindset that I have. As for now, I really can’t wait to get out of here. I’m so tired of the Fingerlakes as much as I love it.

Then, when all of that is said and done I want to get started on being a Midwife. But that could change. Who knows, maybe I will find something else I like even more? Or maybe I will get a job at a birth center right away where I can work towards being a CPM or CNM. One thing is for sure though, if I do the Midwife thing I will most likely have to relocate somewhere else. If I stay in NY maybe Ithaca? Who knows. I’ve talked with friends about different possibilities. One friend wants to buy a VW Pop-up Camper and travel the U.S. being nurses, another wants to open up a birth center or a “birth house”. How amazing is it that the possibilities are endless?!

It’s scary for me to not know exactly what I am doing, but exciting at the same time. Life is such an adventure! I can’t even begin to imagine the kind of person I will be a nd where I will be at in 5 years. I can’t even imagine what I will be like in one. I have changed so much in the past couple of years, when I read my old blogs and remember how things used to be I hardly remember myself. What a great thing! I used to get upset when I would think about the past and the times I used to have, and wish I could go back to that. Now… no way! Waiting for life to happen and living in the moment is so much more fulfilling!