Myspace blog from June 13, 2008

What the FUCK?

So I had a very strange dream between 9am and 10am…

Mario, Niciy, Lauren and I were running around a mall and for some reason playing hide and seek. The three of us girls were trying to hide from Mario in a Janitor’s closet. In this closet were stairs leading down and also a curtained off area.

I went through the curtained off area and suddenly I was in some kind of cave. In front of me was sort of a window carved out of rocks looking down on this huge pond/swamp area and in this area were a bunch of frogs that were cocooning themselves into some goo-like substance. All of the cocoons were hanging from the ceiling of the cave and formed a pattern that looked like a giant goo firework. It was so cool looking I took a picture with my camera.

I kept walking through this area and eventually I stumbled across my entire family and also one of my coworkers who had taken some of the kids on a rec trip to this place. I realized that built around this pond area was sort of an auditorium filled with people who were watching this goo cocoon thing. So I sat down next to my coworker to watch.

So I am sitting there and this crazy looking guy with a huge beard and a staff thing and a fur coat and a thick accent… very wizard looking… comes out with a huge slingshot and starts slingshotting frogs at the wall where they exploded. I remember being horrified while everybody else was amused.

My horror called attention to the strange wizard looking guy and he came over to where I was sitting (which was conveniently in the front row) and started harassing me in his native tongue which I believe was supposed to be Danish. Is that even a language? I know its a pastry…

Anyway, all of a sudden he starts slingshotting frogs at me so they explode on me and I am covered in frog guts. He yells something at me that I don’t understand and I start crying and screaming hysterically. Everyone in the crowd (that doesn’t know me) begins to make fun of me. After a few minutes the wizard guy changes the subject and this huge screen descends from the ceiling to show a video announcing the Danish woman he has picked to be his wife.

My coworker and my kids help me clean myself up and I talked to my family for a bit before going to Wegmans. (Because going to Wegmans is definitely the thing to do after getting pelted by frogs)

The end.

Myspace blog from March 28, 2007

WEIRD dream
I don’t know where this one came from…

I was kidnapped by this old creepy dude along with a bunch of other people, some men some women and this one guy from my Hillside training class. He took us to this underground laboratory in Rochester (I think). We were all sitting around the table and I was trying to figure out why we were there and how I could escape. I tried using sex to get myself out of there but it didn’t work. I finally figured out that he had been working for the laboratory for years as a nobody and wanted to kidnap other people so they would feel the same way. For some reason, he injected us all with a new form of HIV. I managed to escape with this other girl (I think it was supposed to be Becky) and we were running all over the laboratory James Bond style trying to get out. We finally found a door that lead to Niagara Falls (don’t ask me how since we were in Rochester) and decided to go out it and try to lose the guards in Niagara Falls. It turned out that it was the Canadian side though and there were a bunch of Asian people running around trying to confuse us. But some of them helped us. We ended up in Myrtle Beach somehow from there. Becky and I got separated and she got caught. Somehow I ended up back in downtown Rochester. I hid behind a series of pickett fences while I watched the van they were chasing in and listened to the guards telling each other that I must have taken the other street and then they pulled off. I jumped over the fences and conveniently there was a bus station!! I ran up to it and suddenly I was surrounded by a group of black men. I screamed out, “Don’t come near me, I was kidnapped and injected with the HIV virus.” one of them stepped forward and said, “Do not be afraid, all of us are infected with AIDs and we are being forced to leave the city. You should come with us.” He then pointed to the ticket booth. I went to buy a ticket (I don’t know where I got money from) and the guy at the counter said the only place I could go was Cleveland. I started crying. Then all of a sudden, the guy from the Noizy Oyster (Jeremy – no one knows who I refer to except probably Anna, but basically he is a big asshole) popped up out of no where and started talking about Cleveland Steamers and how great they were and how happy I would be in my new home. I started crying more and begged him to take me back to my mom’s house. I told him I would do anything if he did. He then laughed at me (he has a really great and scary laugh) and told me he wouldn’t because I wouldn’t stop in Westchester to get his TV back in November when I came home from Myrtle Beach. He walked away laughing and one of the black men offered me a shoulder to cry on as we boarded the bus to Cleveland. Then I woke up.

Weird huh?