Myspace blog from March 24, 2009

The Sighting… or, Lizzy-ism-ing for Kara

So, this is my way of dealing positively (at least for now) with a potential emotionally harmful situation and also my intense curiosity.

Background Story: I was basically sleeping with Dude off and on for over a year, letting myself believe foolishly that something would come of it. Finally, I decided I was tired of the endless confusion and hurt and realized I deserved to be treated way better. I completely cut it off without saying a word. I deleted Dude from my life. Now, you would think that maybe…just maybe, if you are sleeping with someone for over a year and all of a sudden they stop calling you, texting you and myspace-ing you that you would think, “Hey, what the hell happened to her?” or maybe that’s just a female way of thinking. Anyway, Dude never said a thing. Ouch, that kind of hurts because it suddenly became even more obvious to me that he in fact did not give a shit about me. 2 months later, I am still curious as to how that is possible after a year of sleeping with dude. I begin to ponder about the awkwardness of running into him, the inevitability that it will happen and where and when it will happen when it does. I figured I would run into Dude at Wegmans, at WalMart, some place in Geneva, at a bar, or he would just show up somewhere when Kara came to visit. 2 weeks later, it happens… but not where I thought it would.

The Sighting: Early morning 3am Saturday March 21, 2009… we are at Petro on a late night drunken food adventure after Lauren’s birthday celebration. We are beign obnoxious in the bathroom of said establishment. We walk out of the bathroom and BAM! All of a sudden… there’s Dude! *brief moment of me freaking out followed by awkward forced conversation followed by more freaking out* So…why the hell was Dude by himself at Petro at 3am? I just can’t figure out any logical explanation. I hesitate to send him a message if not only to avoid the terrible, terrible outcome and massive overanalysis that will occur upon his response or lack thereof. He certainly didn’t say anything to me, not that it should surprise me since apparently he finds it normal for someone to stop talking to him after sleeping with them for a year… moving on.

My Story:
Friday March 20, 2009 11pm: Dude has spent entirely too much time alone in front of his computer smoking endless quantities of Cannabis and looking at boobs on webcam chat. He is going slightly crazy from lack of social interaction, mind altering substances and the consumption of nicotine, diet soda and freezer pizzas. His eyesight begins to degenerate from hours upon hours of staring at two computer screens. Dude decides to venture out and get more smokes and diet soda as he has run out. Upon leaving his house, Dude is confronted by a foul-smelling, dirty, crazed looking individual. This individual happens to be your average Genesee St. crackhead. Due to Dude’s diminished level of consciousness, he thinks the crackhead is a zombie. Dude panics.

Friday March 20, 2009 11:30pm: Dude freaks out and runs screaming to his car, the only means of escape as he is cornered by the zombie. He nearly hits the poor “zombie” as he peels out of his driveway. Dude assumes the worst: zombies have taken over Geneva and he must get out immediately. It is only a matter of time before the infestation spreads to neighboring communities and he decides his best option is to head for the country and find an abandoned house.

Saturday March 21, 2009 12am: Dude zooms down 14A and veers onto 318 hoping it’s not too late to stop by the Waterloo Premium Outlet to loot some supplies. On his way, he makes a stop at the North Seneca Sportsman’s club to see if he can procure some firearms as the mangled tire iron he has in the back of his Mazda simply will not do for protection. As he breaks into the Sportsman’s Club, an angry redneck attacks Dude, thinking the Sportsman’s Club is being robbed. Dude instantly assumes this is yet another zombie that must be exterminated. He dispatches the poor angry redneck, hitting him over the head several times with a pool stick. Dude steals the various array of shotguns and ammo out of the redneck’s pickup truck along with a 30 rack of Red Dog. Dude speeds off to the Outlets.

Saturday March 21, 2009 1am: Dude arrives at the Outlet Mall. His lengthy hours in the dark walls of his apartment in front of his computer have skewed his sense of time. He thinks it is actually 6pm and assumes that the zombie outbreak has spread to Waterloo, causing the outlets to close early. He finds a large piece of concrete in a pothole and throws it through storefront windows in order to loot essential supplies. A coincidental glitch in mall security results in his escape. The police have not been notified of the break-ins and the authorities do not come to arrest him. Dude continues to panic as the techno beats in his car and his Cannabis buzz cause his paranoia to intensify.

Saturday March 21, 2009 2:00am: Dude decides to head north past the Thruway. Upon seeing the Petro station, he realizes his sudden need to drop a serious deuce and thinks it would be nice to grab some chicken fried steak at Iron Skillet for the road. On his way to the bathroom, he gets distracted by the Arcade. After some time, he remembers his dire situation and heads into the men’s room to drop his massive load before continuing on his zombie escape. Once he is in the bathroom, Dude gets distracted once again. He is perplexed by the various dirty things that truckers have written on the walls of the bathroom. In his relaxed and relieved state, Dude comes down from his high and completely forgets about his quest to escape the zombies. “Wait, what the shit am I doing here?”, Dude wonders as he leaves the bathroom.

Saturday March 21, 2009 3am: As Dude exits the bathroom, he runs into a group of drunk girls being obnoxious outside the ladies room. He notices one of the girls and realizes it’s this really awesome girl Liz who was totally all about him for a mad long time and loved his baldness. “Hey, whats up!”, Dude said as he thought about what a sex-goddess she was and what amazing back rubs she used to give him and how he completely fucked that all up for himself by being a douchebag. Suddenly, his gaming instincts kicked in and the need to rush back to his computer and smoke the reefer overcame him. He got in his car and drove away. The End.

Myspace blog from May 20, 2008

Stress…

Stress is having a serious effect on my mental and physical health right now. Thankfully, I have been eating SUPER healthy. I think that is the only thing keeping me alive.

Anyhow, I have realized that I need to expand my horizons in the way of stress relief. This is why…

Stress relief techniques not involving the intake of “substances”:

1. bubble bath (oops, not when you share a house with 3 other people)

2. long drive with loud music (with gas prices as high as they are…eff that)

3. quiet alone time (alone time? what’s that? where could i possibly get some quiet alone time?)

4. using the first person to piss me off as a human punching bag. (illegal)

Well, crap.

Myspace blog from April 25, 2008

What the FORK?!?!
Last night sometime between 10:30pm and 11:30pm, someone did this…

There are literally like FIFTY forks in my front yard.

I am going to find out who did this and I will get them back.

What’s your alibi?

Myspace blog from April 19, 2008

The Fork in my Yard.
So on Thursday (2 days ago), I walk out of the house to go to work. As I am walking down the stairs I catch a glimpse of something shiny. I realize that stuck in my lawn, there is a fork.

This was no accidental forking. This was a purposeful and possibly premeditated act. There is no way that someone could have been just walking or driving by and dropped their fork that they for some reason were eating with and it just so happened to land like that. There is also no way that someone could have been walking or driving by and threw the fork maliciously in an act of littering and had it land in such a way that it would stick into my lawn.

No, someone stuck it in there. Hard. When I think about the event, this is what I picture:

Some ninja-dressed guy pacing up and down my street deciding what yard would be best to fork. He picks my yard and walks over to it all stealth-mode, does a couple of back hand springs and some funky Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon moves, then with a look of pure evil and hatred in his little ninja eyes (because that is all you can see) he brings back his hand and thrusts the little silver fork into the grass with a force that could break 3 boards. Then with a slight giggle he runs off into the night.

Hey, its plausible.

Myspace blog from March 13, 2008

Thought for the Day

When it all comes down to it at the end of the day, there’s just nothing better than being a really big BITCH to someone who really deserves it.

Thats all.

Myspace blog from March 26, 2007

I’m very upset with myself for being a dumbass. But I had fun.

Yesterday we got a limo bus for Niciy’s b-day and headed to Ithaca for dinner. I decided to stop at the liquor store and buy myself some wine and being the BRILLIANT girl that I am chose to buy the biggest bottle of Red Zeppelin they had. 1.5 Liters. I didn’t really pay much attention to how much I was drinking because wine makes me feel so happy and silly and people just kept filling up my glass. Needless to say, I don’t remember much that happened after dinner.

Dinner was very nice. Wasn’t what I was expecting at all. By that time, I was so hammered that I couldn’t see the menu. I was feeling adventurous and tried some of the appetizers everyone got which were seafood – I don’t like seafood. I fucking ate fried calamari – not just the pieces, but the whole little squid. I also ate cajun popcorn which is fried and seasoned crawfish tail. So fucking nasty.

I remember getting back into the limo bus after dinner (and miraculously enough, we didn’t get kicked out of Maxie’s as loud and obnoxious as we can be at times) and I remember going to the bar for a bit. I also remember that I finished the entire bottle of wine myself. I don’t remember the ride home but I am told that I gave everyone in the limo a lap dance and also that Kara injured me in the face. I also don’t remember getting inside and going to bed. I just remember waking up and feeling REALLY sick.

Then I had to wake up this morning and go shopping with my mom all day with a hangover. (I got some cute new shoes, underwear and some shirts go me!) Tomorrow we are working on my soon to be bedroom. Hopefully I will be able to move in soon and have some privacy and maybe have company over…

Myspace blog from January 29, 2007

sad realization…
In the wee hours of the morning – laying on Niciy’s couch drunk as hell and trying to fall asleep – I was thinking. I realized something very sad. I have not been on a REAL date in a year. The last time I was on a REAL date was with my friend Glenn sometime last year when he took me out to a Thai restaurant in Buffalo and then to a movie. Even so, that was more of a “hey, both of us are single lets go on a date” type date, not the romantic kind of date.

So lets recap: I am 23 and single (and quite a catch might I add) and I haven’t been on a real date in a year, not by choice. There is something wrong with this picture. Especially considering the number of guys I have “been through” in the past year. There have been quite a few. It makes me really sad that none of them took me on a date. Sure, I have spent time with or hung out with several guys that I had some sort of romantic interest in – but there was never a date involved! We either hung out at their house or mine, or went to grab a drink together but nothing formal or romantic.

Maybe I’m not date-able? Maybe there is some sort of telepathic signal I am sending out to guys that says “only good for one night stands” or “please, don’t take me out” ? Maybe there is something about ME that makes a guy think, “hey, I would really rather not take her out to dinner and treat her like a rockstar.” But I doubt it.

This is what I want: I want to be picked up at my house. I want doors opened for me, chairs pulled out for me, intelligent conversation and romance! I want to be treated like a lady and not like a piece of ass. AND, a kiss at the end of the night would be nice.

At any rate, I am making this my goal. Someone is going to take me out on a date and LIKE IT DAMMIT! I just don’t know who yet. That’s the problem. Most of the guys around here aren’t very worthy of my attentions. Mostly because this place is full of white-trash weirdos and moron Hobart students and guys that are just generally unintelligent. But there has to be at least a handfull of worthy guys around here somewhere, I just have to find them. And I will.

So does anyone know of any single men that are able to carry on intelligent and amusing conversation and not expect booty at the end of the night?

Myspace blog from January 16, 2007

i woke up this morning to my friend’s stepdad being a dick. my right boob was throbbing. i had a headache. i laughed a little about the events of last night. i went out to my car (the sun reflecting off the snow made me want to die because it hurt my eyes so bad) and had to brush a buttload of snow off it. then i drove home and i had to shovel the driveway because i couldn’t figure out how to work the snowblower. i decided not to eat anything because i don’t feel like cooking for myself. my boob still hurts and now i have an even bigger headache. fuck.

that is all.

Myspace blog from December 21, 2006

Well, the landlord knows we are moving and he isn’t happy. He is definitely threatening us and on top of the scary people that live here, we have opted to NOT leave anything in our apartment while we are in New York.

Soo… in the next 48 hours I will be attempting (along with my roommates) to pack up everything in my apartment, move it into a storage unit, clean the apartment and take pictures of it, finish making Christmas presents, make dinner for my dad, tie up a few loose ends and thennnnn leave for New York early Saturday morning. Think it’s possible? Well, it has to be. So there. )

The next couple of weeks are definitely going to be interesting. I don’t know how long we will be home for, probably until the 28th or 29th? It kind of depends. But anyway thats my crazy life for now. I probably wont be on very frequently until we get all settled in Asheville.

Myspace blog from December 8, 2006

soo… i am currently sitting in my crappy desk chair that falls apart when you sit in it in front of my crappy laptop that turns off randomly in my room covered in crappy panelling in a crappy apartment in the ghetto where i am surrounded by crackhead neighbors that steal shit out of my car and hold knives to their girlfriend’s throats all in the crappy city of Myrtle Beach that is, in fact the metaphorical crap flavored icing on top of the shit cake state of South Carolina.

and i have the flu. and i feel like shit. how fitting.

honestly, there is nothing i would rather be doing than sitting here feeling like shit. especially when i am trying to tackle a ridiculously stressful move to Asheville during a ridiculously stressful time of year.

and if you didnt get the whiff of sarcasm i added to the above paragraph, well… i’m sorry to inform you that you are in fact RETARDED.

also i have COMPLETELY given up on dating, serious relationships, marriage, love, sexual activity and anything having to do with the opposite gender whatsoever.

so there. (that seems like the proper way to end a blog.)